1. I’m a new blogger, give me advice
  2. Read my blog and give me advice
  3. I like your blog, tell me what do to make my blog like yours
  4. Feature me, I deserve it
  5. Come to my blog and leave comments
  6. Read my essay and give me notes
  7. Mentor me and show me step-by-step what to do
  8. That post was cool, now read mine and like it

A piece of advice: when you reach out to someone online, especially via email, think about how you’d expect or want to be treated, how you’d like the conversation to go, in person. Would you go up to someone on the street and demand something from them if you didn’t know them? Wouldn’t you try to introduce yourself first? Tell them where you’re coming from? Offer some context?

I’ve stopped responding to emails that lack any thought or consideration. In the past, I’ve offered feedback to people because they’ve reached out as new bloggers — which is totally fine — but sometimes I’ve spent five minutes, fifteen minutes, sometimes over an hour offering feedback to someone. And I never hear from them again. Not even a “hey, thanks.” Yet, even when I respond to messages that are focused and somewhat thoughtful, the majority of the time I’ll never receive a reply either. I’m trying to understand why. Do people think I’m not actually a person? That I can magically generate blogging advice with the click of a button? That I’m somehow required to give you feedback?

Another piece of advice (and one I need to take from myself): Aim for less connections — and make those ones meaningful. It’s such a waste of everyone’s time — including yours — when you make blind and thoughtless requests.

13 thoughts on “Advice”

    1. Your comment reminds me of this piece of advice from LuAnn, a blogger I’d interviewed for a recent piece:

      In my humble opinion, it’s not so much about the number of “likes” or even the followers (unless you are developing a business). It’s more about the beautiful connections you make, while allowing yourself time to get out there and make more memories, and then blogging about them, of course.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you so much for this, Cheri. Your comparison to meeting a stranger on the street and reciting one’s demands is a superb analogy, and a great reminder that the basic social graces apply across all platforms. I also agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph. For me, the greatest reward in blogging has come from the handful of deep, real-life friendships I’ve made over the years. And that’s what I try to stress when others ask for advice or insist that I follow them: Do your thing, and like-minded people will find you and follow you. But even if they don’t, at least you’ve still done your thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with having fewer, but meaningful connections. This is such sound advice! People not responding with a thank you is my pet peeve. Sharing this.


  3. I absolutely agree and I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way. You verbalized it beautifully. Sometimes I think that bloggers “like” my posts simply because I responded to their post and feel they owe me or because they think I’ll owe them in return. I don’t want anyone to ever feel obligated to read or “like” what I write. It should be an honest response based on a connection.


  4. Yesyesyes. Amen. I’d love to see this post on the main WP blog, but I know that’s probably not possible. 😉 I’ve stopped responding to such requests, too. If a simple “thank you” is too much effort, then they don’t deserve my attention. I have been tempted to send responses stating that I believe that karma plays a big factor in blog success. People sense when you’re for real or just looking for “follow/like/comment backs”. But I doubt that people who would send such a request would understand this.


  5. Oh Cheri that list made me laugh out loud. I’ve received a few comments like that over the years. Well I guess probably everyone has. I like your comparison to real life, and like others have said – commenting and connecting has become much more about quality rather than quantity for me too. There are maybe a dozen or so blogs/bloggers that I will pretty much always respond to because the people have become friends, and some I’ve met in RL. A richness of connection develops that’s not there when you’re trying to keep up with hundreds of blogs just for the sake of it.


  6. “Aim for less connections — and make those ones meaningful.” Love this quote, and it’s something to keep at the forefront of my mind as a blogger. Some blogging advice I’ve seen says that I should follow back everyone who follows me, but I find that I can’t do so unless I actually enjoy their content and writing.

    Also, funny how people sometimes lose all sense of common courtesy once behind a screen..


  7. I do have a core of readers who I directly communicate with through the blog, but I do like to have a wide ranging and eclectic audience, especially when doing interactive features like writing prompts and weekly challenges, because it gives such variety.

    I must admit, despite only being a four year veteran on WordPress, I do find myself giving out advice to new bloggers occasionally and I’ve been very fortunate that they have all had impeccable manners.


  8. I’m literally new to this, in fact your post is the first one I read entirely. Good advice and kudos for saying it like it is. I agree with you 100% since every time I have helped someone I am always left with this feeling of regret and that’s exactly when I ask myself this question… Why do I keep doing it? Then I realize that the only other option is to be like them and that is not in my nature. It’s not in my nature to “just look the other way”


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